Hit me baby one more time

OK I got a new printer, another HP piece of shit – mainly because they are cheap, secondly since HP has invested serious technologies to make sure you won't be using it for too long. The ink cartridges come with chips to tell you they are out of ink before they actually run dry, making you buy new ones when the old ones still have life in them. Before I forget, they come with a soak pit to collect force drained ink, when the pit is full your printer is screwed. I found out some more info on how to get even with the HP suckers – last one I used for two odd years done enough with home refilled cartridges, and its going to repair shop. Listen here you bastards at HP, I am getting even. Its a consumable arms race and I am evolving too.

Now HP has not been like this always, in my impoverished student days, they sold some good workhorse printers which went on for ever. And I still hot-wired them. Did you hear that you French-polishing rollos at HP? Yes, screw you, I am going to hot-wire this one too if I can.

Someone complained I use too many dirty words on this blog lately. Relax, its just for fun. In Smells like teen spirit Kurt Cobain sings “she's overboard and self assured” and other references about teen spirit (though the words are not sung in the song), which was a perfume worn by ladies and some “other” ladies – was he actually referring to his ex? Or was this incoherent, meaningless song with words like “oh well, whatever, nevermind” all about very short attention span of the GenX – still better than Twitter? Now you know where the nevermind bits came from in the last few posts. Actually, really I was paying my respects to late Kurt Cobain.

You think I write dirty words? Listen to the song, Kurt sings “Oh, no, I know a dirty word”, “Hello, how low”, “with the lights out its less dangerous”, “I feel stupid and contagious”, “I found it hard, hard to find” - followed by that nevermind bit, “A denial” ten times.

And do you now know what I know a dirty word is? What do you think he is doing with Teen Spirit wearing girlfriend with the lights out, and how low it could be, its not that hard to find, specially if they are in denial afterwards and its not going to last too long. Just ask Bill Clinton, the expert, he will tell you all about it, or take one look at Hilary's face and you will know.

And you say I use dirty words! Bastards is not a dirty word, its clearly in law, in the bible, and is a term used to describe HP executives by their own mothers. Are these establishments dirty too?

And I did not invent Hit me baby one more time either, Britney Spears sang it, well she had first hand experience at the hands of her ex, a point which Eminem made only too clear in his Real Slim Shady, really he intended PamAm rather. I was just asking the HP fellows.... to hit me one more time with their cheap printers.

Weird way of putting things is it? Ah just go and read some Canada visa refusal letter and you will see what a really weird individual's writing is. Oh, no, not the old faithful UK deputy HC in Chennai, they are just plain stupid. That level of stupidity can only come from inheritance through some really weird practice. I wonder if they all look a bit, you know, alike.

But then again, having their kids named Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), Wednesday (nevermind who, there is a dozen), Apple (Gwyneth Poltrow), Kyd (David Duchovny), and Sage Moonblood (Sylvester Stallone), celebrities are the real weirdos, if not the ones with dirty minds.

As for me, I am living in the land of 1984 Oceania – where the sun never rises, gods throw arsenic in well water, ports where no ship calls, and power generation plants make no electricity...

Ah, I am just a fine guy you know. Just about perfect. Poor Kurt, you had the wrong thing blown this time, big time.