OK Kiddies, today Uncle Don is going to tell you something about swear words and their usage. OK kidding, but its a topic worth a word or two (or more) – firstly as I recently pointed a few young ladies to this blog, and one of them called back to voice her displeasure, secondly an academic friend was annoyed with my wordings over that arsenic idiot bunch.
Harlan Ellison, the guy behind The Terminator movie concept, swore profusely on print. In that particular script he writes “ Smash those Metal Motherf***rs!!” , and on the preface to a collection of short stories, he writes “I don't write for Mamma's boys” with some fine adjective in the middle, starting with f* again if I recall correct. Now I think he was perfectly within his senses when he penned those naughty words, as they were essential to the plot, I mean do you want to hear (or read for that matter) a dialogue like “Kindly Sir, it would not be proper manners to insert that pointy protruding thingy without consent as it may be frowned upon by the good civilised gentlemen of....” in a groping in the dark alleys scene (unconsented, of course)? Surely you wouldn't be putting them in the mouths of the wicked aliens even. Just to keep it simple, you do need naughty words sometimes.
Now, recently on a local newspaper an academic had had a real go at someone who wrote a poem hoping for an Adolf Hitler to come in the guise of president in this country to line everyone on the road to the gas chamber (though the writer actually wrote gas uduna-ta – meaning 'to the gas oven'). Never mind the technicalities, the writer just intended to express his utmost hatred towards the benighted masses of idiots (his words) making up the populace of this country. In my opinion this type of writing stems from utter disillusionment and anger within the person who writes.
As for me, my writing is rather Harlan Ellison type, I use naughty words not because I am angry with anyone, but merely because I need to drive a point home and when civilised language simply wouldn't do. Let me explain:
Recent article on the net had named the prettiest British women since, since whenever. As you could well guess I clicked the link and saw they have sacrileg(ed) Vivien Leigh, had Belgian born Audrey Hepburn at No: 01 spot (which was OK), Keeley Someone in middle (not a patch on Keeley Hazell) & that Darling Bud of May (sheep s******'s daughter) on 4 and so on. The list also had some of the ugliest bitches I have ever seen on certain spots – who voted them in do not know I. Yet they were there. Fortunately they had the good sense enough to avoid horseface Kate (not a patch on Di, far by far). Now tell me how else am I to write this without inserting the B word. Oh I could say it also had some refined ladies of rather modest beauty compared to other ladies.. but who do you think would have given a F*** if I did write that?
To make you all happy here is the corrected version of my blog:
The learned gentlemen and refined ladies involved in detecting arsenic through divine intervention have not conducted their good affairs within the rules of science, but have resorted to the practices of refined and compassionate gentlemen who are members of the esteemed clans we commonly refer to as tribes, such as those found in Papua New Guinea. Also, considering the tolerant attitude the refined divinely inspired arsenic detection tribe display towards dissenting voices (as was graciously reported on Raavaya 03-June), as well as by their own modest admission (The Island) I have the pleasure of inferring they would keenly follow the most compassionate and most humane practices of Korowai tribe, albeit so far being restricted by law of the land that has been forced upon us by the gentlemen of White races, who have done so by utilising their inadequate science & technology which of course are far below the prowesses of those possessed by the fine people of divinely inspired faculty at Kelaniya university.
I have just one question: Could these f*****s and their super science come up with any medicine to alleviate the suffering of the affected masses in North Central province?
No comments:
Post a Comment