The Third World, and its Inhabitants

My G-d, I haven't updated this for aeons! Well, it all boils down to my new assignment, where I don't get much time to muck around with this. Besides I don't get to do lots of visa stuff these days. Well, that hasn't stopped fate bringing idiot visa officers on my way. Looking back at all these years, it had dawned upon me that there is little one can do to reduce collective stupidity of humans – but someone can select the imbeciles out of the stupid and assign them to third world countries like Sri Lanka! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome your new visa officer....

Here is a case study example of how these people tick.

An eighty two year old retired woman applied for UK visa – and was promptly refused. In a nutshell, the ECO fears she'd remain there without returning. Taking a stab at the ECO's reasoning, one can get a glimpse of the collective paranoia these people are immersed in.

You don't have any income. How many 80+ little old ladies you know comply with this condition? None? Oh I know two, (sadly late) Mrs Jean Hunter of Gants Hill, and another in Romford road. Constant regular income in both cases I assume, was OAP.

Your son has sought ILR. Well, that complaint shall be directed towards parliament – where they make these rules. Is my visa application assessed according to actions of my kith and kin? What if late Mr Dick Turpin had been, say a distant grand uncle of someone. I refuse your application as I notice that one of your uncles has been late Mr Richard Turpin. Considering the character of this individual...... It will be a highway robbery alright – of the visa fees paid in good faith.

You don't have extensive family in Sri Lanka. Ah that old chestnut. This is actually one of the weasel words (phrases?) constantly employed by ECO's to find some grounds for refusal. How many of the two parents, siblings, and other close relatives does one expect to have come all this way with her to the ripe old age of 82? Surely it would have been a matter of global concern if she had the entire entourage at this age.

Well, the ECO rants on. However let me bring about a brief case for the “accused” here. An eighty plus lady, who wishes to meet her only son in UK is unlikely to seek either asylum or go underground in UK. Simply because she does not get any NHS, she is unemployable, she has no grand plans for next 50 years to come, and she can't stand the cold weather or isolation at this age. Put it this way. She doesn’t even buy green bananas!

Now you tell me if these people are not a bunch of imbecilic lunatics or hypocrites. Its written on the wall, as far as I am concerned. Living here in a third world nation, even the apparel trade is more orderly and responsible than Her Majesty's visa officers. I recently had the opportunity to take an in-depth look at how the apparel industry performs. Lo and behold, there is responsibility. The one thing the Chennai deputy high commission lacks. And people pay them money for assessing their application. That man, Mr Turpin, must be turning in his grave like an omelet! Only if he had the legitimate framework to rob people of their money in broad daylight. Well, it was a different century after all. Amen.

Misguided Missionaries and Other Stories

Hello everyone, I am back! Well, there is no need of writing Christmas or New Year messages as I am not Her Majesty – who'd on Earth would want to read my blabber on such nice days!

Well, let's look into the visa front. Our good UK High Commission in Colombo has lived up to their reputation by refusing the visa application of local Cardinal (Cardinal Malcolm Ranjith ) saying insufficient information... As much as I appreciate visa forms being filled full and complete, there is this perennial issue of applications being refused due to nit picking. And UK High Commission has a good reputation for that. Well, here is a case point for those who did not have misfortune of dealing with them.

As for the good DownUnders – no reply from them so far on nature of their medical examination. As we all know certain doctor H. loves to undress pre-teen and nubile young girls as a part of Australian visa medical examination. Ah. And I came across Hon US ambassador Athul Keshap's Facebook greeting – which I appreciate, except getting through to US embassy's trade relations section is nigh impossible.

All three examples above points to the difference between practices and the public image these foreign(?) diplomatic missions have in store here. No wonder people here are suspicious about them! In simple terms, I would seriously like to have more responsible visa officers, more transparent and fair visa practices, and friendlier diplomats. After all, they are here to build bridges between respective nations – and nations mean people, not merely the governments!

In my opinion, rigid visa practices and cold welcomes at diplomatic missions have never really done much to contain illegal immigration. All it has done is making distrustful and bitter populaces among the nations where such idiotic approaches are practised. A better approach will be less rigid, fairer, and transparent practices backed by approachable officers – who would want to stay illegally in a country which he can visit anytime anyways! If anyone is seeking a good example of how wrong foreign policies hurt nations, Angela Merkel has just given us one. In order to 'punish' that Russian bear Vladimir Putin, she closed the borders to those north of her and opened them to ME & Africans. Now the silly gobs£%te is crying out loud about growing national security concerns and rise of Islamic extremism. As one expat here told me, a succinct one liner description of her predicament will be “serves her right!” Not so funny when one thinks of everyone (and that means WE) as a nation has to pay for works of this silly sausage, Angela, and it is a bitter pill that does not cure the disease. It's just bitter.

Why am I always blasting foreign embassies and diplomats in this blog? Because they are a no good lousy bunch of vermin who are a drain on public funds, and bane of lives of peoples in the host country. You can visit local night clubs and pubs and see who they have as their good local companions, and work it out for yourself. I can't actually see any improvement in professionalism amongst them for the past decade, no actually they are getting worse. Athul Keshap seems to be a good choice, but I fear he too has not made any real improvement except in his own image building. And I would not waste pixels on British or Australian twats here.

Ven Madoluwawe Sobhitha - A hero among destitutes

It is with great sadness that I write on passing of Ven Madoluwawe Sobhitha Thero, who passed away while under treatment for a brief heart condition. He had been an iconic monk here in Sri Lanka, where Buddhist monks have played a decisive role in the island nation's sociopolitical affairs throughout history. Just like the passing of Steve Jobs was reported in The Onion as 'The Last American Who Knew What * He Was Doing, Dies', it is only fair to say that this man has been the very last surviving member of those greats. Stuck in a land which has its entire moral compass utterly corrupted to the core, Ven Sobhitha thero had been a lighthouse in choppy uncharted dark waters called Sri Lanka.

All throughout his life he has fought for justice for his people, be it the corrupt and barbaric economic policies, loss of Sinhalese identity, devious measures to undermine free education and NHS (thank you, Aneurin Bevan), or establishment of a fake monarchy headed by a bunch of barbaric monkeys – the monk had been in the forefront of battle. He never swayed from his ideals, never went down on his knees in front of politicians asking for favours, never was bought and sold, and most of all, as a true son of Buddha, took everything with a healthy dose of equanimity. He had single-handedly provided the ideological basis for establishment of good-governance in the land, had criticised when it failed – staunchly honest as he ever was.

I am writing this in a land where Buddhist monks sworn to a life of austerity are driven around in Mercedes-Benz motors, where followers of the great renunciation hero of mankind amass wealth and fame and are bought by the dozen, where they preach to lose cravings after specifically requesting sear-steaks. In contrast, Ven Sobhitha didn't have a Mercedes, he never requested deviled sear-steaks, nor had he ever asked a politico for a favour. His life reminds me of 19th century Polish rabbi, Hofetz Chaim. When asked by a tourist where his furniture is, the rabbi countered by asking where is yours. The puzzled tourist is reported to have said 'Mine?, I'm only passing through" - to which the rabbi said "So am I." In the same vein, venerable monk also did not peruse earthly goods – even at the risk of his life and limb. Many a time they have attempted to buy him out, either by force or with money, I was told. As far as I know, he had been the sole monk who was not bought, never been bought is the distinction he will carry with him to his grave – I wonder how many people, either in the cloth or amongst laymen can claim that title.

I am writing this not far from where his body is being cremated, as I am penning these words, they have lit the funeral pyres. Just like late Sir John Kothalawala's government was the last legitimate government in this country, this man who is being cremated here had been the last of the legitimate Buddhist monks in this country – poor Sri Lanka is unlikely to bear another in any foreseeable time. With his passing, an unbroken line of true 'gramawasi' (meaning community dwelling) monks come to an end. Hated by all forms of politicians, and being a thorn in the side of legislators and corrupted officials, an eyesore to barbarians like the 'monk' who heads 'Bodu Balu Sena', news of his passing has been a jovial advent to most politicians and monks around here. However the measure of the man and his esteemed eminence can be observed by taking a quick walk today anywhere here, where the common people volunteered to raise a saffron flag at their home, office, or car. His loss has been deeply felt by people of other faiths – Muslims and Hindus specially, who have come forth in multitudes to honour him. While politically opinionated Sinhalese-Buddhists rejoice in his demise, the people of other faiths and the actual moral majority are in mourning.

In my humble opinion, greatest tribute and honour the venerable monk received in his passing is the open rejoicing of his demise by the corrupted peoples of Sri Lanka. It tells me he died an honest man, true to his soul and creed, he was never bought, and he stuck to his ideals and preachings of Buddha to the last breath. Some people say that G-d sees the moral corruption of the world and decides to destroy it, but refrains himself as he sees the very few good people still on Earth. For their sake, G-d does not destroy the world, and the wicked as well as the good see the sun rise next morning. With the passing of Ven Modoluwawe Sobhitha, I fear there is one less reason for people to have the sun tomorrow.

The Australian Striptease

Well kidz, I haven't been here for a while – partly because I am now on Twitter, and partly because some of the stuff happening here is a tad too sensitive in their nature. However, lets have a stab at this one, shall we. The story goes, about six months ago a student taking off to Australia came here with her mom asking for some advice about university life there – and I was happy to oblige. Actually I rarely charge for these things, partly because it is someone in the process of fashioning their young life, and partly because I am salt of the Earth – well, you can take that latter half with a pinch of salt, if you please. Most of the time its not worth bothering with a fee. Who cares!

Later on, after getting their visa the same pair walked in and from their looks I could tell that the poor girl was distraught. Anyways I paid little attention in that direction, you know, girls.. But I was wrong. They did have a long and harrowing tale for me – actually this is not the first time I had some fun with the Australians. But this was way beyond the scales. Apparently, as a part of the visa process she had to submit a medical report and the good Australians have a list of doctors (at specific hospitals) who could do that for you. Well, thinking that this is just routine medical examination, like chest X-Rays, blood sucking, and eyesight etc. the poor girl went there.

The incident reminds me of a girl in 1950's who had signed a contract with a theatrical producer to take up the lead role of Salome – except that she had little idea what was in store for her in the finale. When she went to the diabolical medical examination, Dr. H at AH has carried out all the necessary tests and then asked if she came with anyone else. And she said no! Oh, what a shame, you should have, said the good doctor. Why? Why would I have to come with someone? * Now I am editing out sensitive details* Anyways the doctor has said that as a part of the medical examination, she had to strip naked and be examined by him – including the private parts. The girl, being no fool, asked what exactly he was looking for. He said the Australians want to examine 'spots' in genital areas and elsewhere – to check jabberwocky. You know what this reminded me of? Of the witch hunts in dark ages when people were looking for spots on women to find out if they are witches. Actually he felt all around her privates (in gloves – I give him that bit) in pretense of looking for 'spots' and 'patches'.

I can sure understand that some medical examinations require a body inspection – fine. But the a dignified High Commission should be able to pre-warn applicants of the nature of the medical exam that is in store for them. Do the Australians condone these acts? YES, I wrote to them and complained – and not even a courtesy email reply. Mind you, I just wrote to them again – just now, to see if they send a proper reply but all I got so far is an automated response. Why am I so against this witch examination by Dr. H.? Because he has not done it on two BOYS who went for the same purpose – Dr. H. only searches for 'spots' required by the good Australians when there is a nubile little girl out there. One day I want to video the whole 'procedure' and put it in Australian news night – discussing it elsewhere is pointless as a puppet justice system which fears granting bail to Australian Boat People to appease the Great Oz can in no sense step in.

That is why some places on Earth are called the Third World – their justice system, the ambassadors they get, and the dignity of their women are third grade.

Diversity Visa program (DV-2017) / US Green Card is now open

Hello everyone. Sorry we haven’t been here for a while. I was involved in an international research, like one of those researches carried out by the Girl's High School in Kelaniya on CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease) in Sri Lanka. We all know what they found. Jackshit. Oh, here I am back again.

Now to the important topic, it's the US diversity visa time. In other words, American Green Card season, which I call the silly season. For those who are interested, please visit the OFFICIAL SITE at www.dvlottery.state.gov. As again, please don't go to anywhere else – because the real McCoy is here, not somewhere else. 

This perennial hassle of having to help DV Lottery entrants has taken its toll on me. So, as in previous years, I am trying to add my two cents worth - so you won't come here to waste my time and your money! Your money most certainly because you will be taxed heavily if you came here.

Remember that Green Card – or the DV Lottery, is absolutely FREE. That means don't pay anyone. Simple. Secondly, please please only apply through the official portal (www.dvlottery.state.gov ). There are fake sites with similar spellings – so be ware. A good rule of thumb is to see if you can see .gov at the end of the web address... Third, all you need is your own details and a photograph. Nothing more. If anyone asked for your credit card details, or phoned you about DV Lottery, then just run a mile from them.

Oh, and on the bright side, you don't need a university degree to qualify, and those occupational lists are for people who don't have minimum educational qualification – so don't panic after paying a visit to the qualifying occupations list! Is that clear? If you are a person living in Sri Lanka but born in Bangladesh, India, or Pakistan, then, you are out of luck. You could put yourself in an application if your spouse is born in Sri Lanka. Otherwise, sorry. I write this because there is a substantial number of people living here from those countries – and asking us about DV programme. Sorry kids.

If you qualify for entry, here is what you do.

1. You must have an email address to complete the form. If you don't have one, get a free email from Yahoo or Google (or somewhere else you fancy).
2. Gather your personal details – this means your address, date of birth, photograph, etc.
3. If you are married, then get your wife's/husband's & children's details too. Including clear photographs.
4. Visit the official site (given above), read the instructions, and click begin entry.
5. Follow the instructions given on the site – it is simple, true, and you just can't go wrong.
6. Please do not duplicate applications – meaning only apply once. Once you get the Submission Received / Confirmation – stop!!! Print the page for reference and keep it safe.
7. Your spouse (wife or husband) can make their own application, with you included in it. This means if you are in a relationship, you get two chances. Don't confuse this. Your partner's application is a separate one – where they are the APPLICANT, you are just mentioned in passing.... So don't fill two applications yourself!!!

After you apply, it is a waiting game, meaning you have to wait a long time for the results. Once the results dates are officially announced, you can log into the same site and click the link to see if you have won. This will need the reference number on that confirmation page you printed - so please keep that printout in a safe place.

Oh, and good luck to all of you.

Sri Lanka Presidential Polls

Hello kidz, here we are at the end of yet another Sri Lanka election. If there is anything in this country, it's elections – this being the third within the span of one Earth year. Don't you kidz worry, people here simply love it – life here would be unbearable without elections.
To sum it up for those of you who have missed news: One Autocratic Dictator has been deposed. Like to know what predictions were? Best one I got was - never mind from who- gave figures of:
MR(Autocratic outgoing dictator) 52.03% to 49.12% (Median = 50.58%)
MS (Possible upcoming dictator) 47.43% to 56.51% (Median = 51.97%)
They actually scored 47.6% and 51.3% respectively. Kudos to whoever did the maths, because I have never come across such an accurate prediction even in a Western democracy, let alone in a place where election violence, rigging, & voter turnout are matters better left for inscrutable means of providence. Just which weird statistical tool is capable of taking vote rigging into account is something that evades me.

People about here believe strongly in karma. And karma it was, as the outgoing president had three more years left of his legitimate tenure – when bad karma forced him to listen to his astrologer and call on a snap election which he ultimately lost. Shit happens. His opponent had been one of his most trusted and loyal lieutenants. The man it is claimed, has foregone becoming Prime Minister of Sri Lanka in order to pave the way for ex-president to become PM (and then onto become autocratic dictator!). The two had a cordial dinner of pancakes (actually a type of unleavened bread called aappa) one night. Little did the poor ex-prez knew he was dining with the very man who would tomorrow afternoon launch an effective campaign to remove him. Karma is a biatch...

Karma seems to have played a major role in election result as well. Reliable sources indicate that vote rigging went pear shape when another trusted lieutenant defected - otherwise the slim margin he lost would surely be accounted ..... Together with rest of stalwarts who exhibited shifty loyalties, no last minute rescue attempt was on the cards. Dignified exit was the only valid move he was left with and needless to say that the fellow complied.

So what now? Looking at the international scenario, we need to know that both United States of America and United Kingdom have appointed new heads of diplomatic mission here - in a move completely unrelated to election or new regime.

As for United Kingdom, I don’t really see any need of fixing anything, neither is there any space left for change in either policies or practices. Well, anyone who knows anything about UK Home Office knows this as a given. I would not use the term Her Majesty’s - as I am under oath not to tarnish her name.... and then you called that shite hole HM Home Office.... All I say is that no constructive man has come to Colombo from London after the departure of David Gladstone, and he made the blunder of attempting to dine with savages in a formal dinner setting.

India and Uncle Sam must work together in building relations with the new regime. Especially without scaring off the Chinese. Geopolitical reality is not to compel China to take Maldivian option- which is more dangerous and has darker outcomes to all involved. US foreign policy should have done something long ago if they did not like a Chinese outpost in Colombo. Now its too late. Looking at economic and political stability, US can safely retain their current policy on these matters - which has been more or less encouraging US investments here. As for Indians, its better if they expand (does not mean dislodging Chinese) their business activities here, while relaxing policies curtailing free travel between the two countries. Trade deals must offer something in return to Sri Lanka - as current scenario is necessarily biased towards Indian advantage.

European Union does not cut out a pretty picture around here - something they need to fix. As we all know some pro-China systems here hasn’t helped either. In my opinion winning the hearts of masses is more necessary at this point than socioeconomic infrastructure mambo jumbo they are so fond of. Actually, the new regime is fundamentally more open towards larger word out there than the previous one. They might look pro-Western, but really they are more inclined towards Asian scene and are slightly unlikely to play into economic deals trap - either openly or cached.

Whats my opinion of all this going on? Well, when the first World President (Barak Obama) was elected, a newsprint invited people to express their wishes from his administration in less than 10 words. I was told that winning entry was : I hope he will let us down gently. In the melee of struggle for power and direction, I just hope the soup tastes OK.

A wonderful Christmas full of love, peace, and happiness

Having just passed midnight hour of Christmas eve, its officially Christmas here in Colombo. It has been raining constantly for the last seven days, like as if we are approaching another Noah's flood. Good one, many around here would say. Good one to wash away all the dirty politicians, they'd add. Yet, its the Season and I am in good spirits (or high on spirits – whichever I am not sure because those lovely spirits have clouded my judgement).

If we take the fortnight from here to 8th January, Sri Lanka will have a visit made by His Holiness, Pope Francis, and a presidential election. Quite a mouthful for a small island nation. And people are sick of politicians. Did I tell you that I am in good spirits because its the Season? Well, I don't hate anyone enough to hope they'd get washed off by this incessant rain into oblivion.

Lets take a biblical approach here. A president coerced by his international patrons to initiate what he owes them: The poor man is trapped between Scylla and Charybdis. Deliver the goods to his foreign Darth Vader masters – him & his whole family is unmasked and politically dead. Gaddafi style. Not deliver the goods to Darth Vader clan, they will freeze all his offshore accounts and fund a coup to oust him. His entire clan will die penniless AND Gaddafi style.  What you get now is a perfect recipe for an early election, way way before the current mandate ends. What would anyone (YOU) do in such a situation? Holding the election now and extending mandate for 8 years to come – and then deliver goods to Masters of Dark is the only viable course of action. Any other course is simply suicidal.

Considering his grave predicament, and the fact that anyone & everyone here is also either partners of crime or guilty of wretched complicity, “stone pillaring” one man as the scapegoat does not sound fair to me. Now this is where Seasonal goodwill comes in. Its simply called Forgiveness.

Can we, despite of whatever we purport ourselves to be, can we actually forgive others? Solemnly accepting one has erred and forgiving others for trespasses are the hardest things to come by – now this goes for all people, myself included. Preaching forgiveness and humility is one thing. Practising those are surely a different kettle of fish. Slippery matters they are, just like fish. Even a well known phrase like Forgiven, not forgotten (hi Chrissie) can be interpreted as I know wht ya done biatch bt won't do you in for it now.

Why is this stuff on my Christmas blog? Because as age matures me, I have come to consider that hatred and despise for others actually do more harm to ourselves and those around us. Self-righteousness and inability to forgive others just wells up anger and contempt within ourselves, burning up from inside the little humanity we could muster in modern days. Actually, speaking in modern corporate productivity terms, its the most counterproductive load of garbage you can carry around.

So in this Christmas, let us all resolve to throw away this heavy burden, this poison, we carry around with us. Otherwise it will grow to engulf us completely, then those around us, and then our whole nation. Living in an embittered nation full of vengefulness and misguided by self-righteousness is surely no fun at all. Carpe diem (seize the day – a Latin idiot, no I mean an idiom) and let us resolve this Christmas to be rid of this bundle.

I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins (Isaiah 43:25, KJV)

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL – JUST DON'T FORGET TO HAVE FUN

www.theforgivenessproject.com
http://www.aish.com/tp/i/sacks/286491731.html