Ven Madoluwawe Sobhitha - A hero among destitutes

It is with great sadness that I write on passing of Ven Madoluwawe Sobhitha Thero, who passed away while under treatment for a brief heart condition. He had been an iconic monk here in Sri Lanka, where Buddhist monks have played a decisive role in the island nation's sociopolitical affairs throughout history. Just like the passing of Steve Jobs was reported in The Onion as 'The Last American Who Knew What * He Was Doing, Dies', it is only fair to say that this man has been the very last surviving member of those greats. Stuck in a land which has its entire moral compass utterly corrupted to the core, Ven Sobhitha thero had been a lighthouse in choppy uncharted dark waters called Sri Lanka.

All throughout his life he has fought for justice for his people, be it the corrupt and barbaric economic policies, loss of Sinhalese identity, devious measures to undermine free education and NHS (thank you, Aneurin Bevan), or establishment of a fake monarchy headed by a bunch of barbaric monkeys – the monk had been in the forefront of battle. He never swayed from his ideals, never went down on his knees in front of politicians asking for favours, never was bought and sold, and most of all, as a true son of Buddha, took everything with a healthy dose of equanimity. He had single-handedly provided the ideological basis for establishment of good-governance in the land, had criticised when it failed – staunchly honest as he ever was.

I am writing this in a land where Buddhist monks sworn to a life of austerity are driven around in Mercedes-Benz motors, where followers of the great renunciation hero of mankind amass wealth and fame and are bought by the dozen, where they preach to lose cravings after specifically requesting sear-steaks. In contrast, Ven Sobhitha didn't have a Mercedes, he never requested deviled sear-steaks, nor had he ever asked a politico for a favour. His life reminds me of 19th century Polish rabbi, Hofetz Chaim. When asked by a tourist where his furniture is, the rabbi countered by asking where is yours. The puzzled tourist is reported to have said 'Mine?, I'm only passing through" - to which the rabbi said "So am I." In the same vein, venerable monk also did not peruse earthly goods – even at the risk of his life and limb. Many a time they have attempted to buy him out, either by force or with money, I was told. As far as I know, he had been the sole monk who was not bought, never been bought is the distinction he will carry with him to his grave – I wonder how many people, either in the cloth or amongst laymen can claim that title.

I am writing this not far from where his body is being cremated, as I am penning these words, they have lit the funeral pyres. Just like late Sir John Kothalawala's government was the last legitimate government in this country, this man who is being cremated here had been the last of the legitimate Buddhist monks in this country – poor Sri Lanka is unlikely to bear another in any foreseeable time. With his passing, an unbroken line of true 'gramawasi' (meaning community dwelling) monks come to an end. Hated by all forms of politicians, and being a thorn in the side of legislators and corrupted officials, an eyesore to barbarians like the 'monk' who heads 'Bodu Balu Sena', news of his passing has been a jovial advent to most politicians and monks around here. However the measure of the man and his esteemed eminence can be observed by taking a quick walk today anywhere here, where the common people volunteered to raise a saffron flag at their home, office, or car. His loss has been deeply felt by people of other faiths – Muslims and Hindus specially, who have come forth in multitudes to honour him. While politically opinionated Sinhalese-Buddhists rejoice in his demise, the people of other faiths and the actual moral majority are in mourning.

In my humble opinion, greatest tribute and honour the venerable monk received in his passing is the open rejoicing of his demise by the corrupted peoples of Sri Lanka. It tells me he died an honest man, true to his soul and creed, he was never bought, and he stuck to his ideals and preachings of Buddha to the last breath. Some people say that G-d sees the moral corruption of the world and decides to destroy it, but refrains himself as he sees the very few good people still on Earth. For their sake, G-d does not destroy the world, and the wicked as well as the good see the sun rise next morning. With the passing of Ven Modoluwawe Sobhitha, I fear there is one less reason for people to have the sun tomorrow.

The Australian Striptease

Well kidz, I haven't been here for a while – partly because I am now on Twitter, and partly because some of the stuff happening here is a tad too sensitive in their nature. However, lets have a stab at this one, shall we. The story goes, about six months ago a student taking off to Australia came here with her mom asking for some advice about university life there – and I was happy to oblige. Actually I rarely charge for these things, partly because it is someone in the process of fashioning their young life, and partly because I am salt of the Earth – well, you can take that latter half with a pinch of salt, if you please. Most of the time its not worth bothering with a fee. Who cares!

Later on, after getting their visa the same pair walked in and from their looks I could tell that the poor girl was distraught. Anyways I paid little attention in that direction, you know, girls.. But I was wrong. They did have a long and harrowing tale for me – actually this is not the first time I had some fun with the Australians. But this was way beyond the scales. Apparently, as a part of the visa process she had to submit a medical report and the good Australians have a list of doctors (at specific hospitals) who could do that for you. Well, thinking that this is just routine medical examination, like chest X-Rays, blood sucking, and eyesight etc. the poor girl went there.

The incident reminds me of a girl in 1950's who had signed a contract with a theatrical producer to take up the lead role of Salome – except that she had little idea what was in store for her in the finale. When she went to the diabolical medical examination, Dr. H at AH has carried out all the necessary tests and then asked if she came with anyone else. And she said no! Oh, what a shame, you should have, said the good doctor. Why? Why would I have to come with someone? * Now I am editing out sensitive details* Anyways the doctor has said that as a part of the medical examination, she had to strip naked and be examined by him – including the private parts. The girl, being no fool, asked what exactly he was looking for. He said the Australians want to examine 'spots' in genital areas and elsewhere – to check jabberwocky. You know what this reminded me of? Of the witch hunts in dark ages when people were looking for spots on women to find out if they are witches. Actually he felt all around her privates (in gloves – I give him that bit) in pretense of looking for 'spots' and 'patches'.

I can sure understand that some medical examinations require a body inspection – fine. But the a dignified High Commission should be able to pre-warn applicants of the nature of the medical exam that is in store for them. Do the Australians condone these acts? YES, I wrote to them and complained – and not even a courtesy email reply. Mind you, I just wrote to them again – just now, to see if they send a proper reply but all I got so far is an automated response. Why am I so against this witch examination by Dr. H.? Because he has not done it on two BOYS who went for the same purpose – Dr. H. only searches for 'spots' required by the good Australians when there is a nubile little girl out there. One day I want to video the whole 'procedure' and put it in Australian news night – discussing it elsewhere is pointless as a puppet justice system which fears granting bail to Australian Boat People to appease the Great Oz can in no sense step in.

That is why some places on Earth are called the Third World – their justice system, the ambassadors they get, and the dignity of their women are third grade.

Diversity Visa program (DV-2017) / US Green Card is now open

Hello everyone. Sorry we haven’t been here for a while. I was involved in an international research, like one of those researches carried out by the Girl's High School in Kelaniya on CKD (Chronic Kidney Disease) in Sri Lanka. We all know what they found. Jackshit. Oh, here I am back again.

Now to the important topic, it's the US diversity visa time. In other words, American Green Card season, which I call the silly season. For those who are interested, please visit the OFFICIAL SITE at www.dvlottery.state.gov. As again, please don't go to anywhere else – because the real McCoy is here, not somewhere else. 

This perennial hassle of having to help DV Lottery entrants has taken its toll on me. So, as in previous years, I am trying to add my two cents worth - so you won't come here to waste my time and your money! Your money most certainly because you will be taxed heavily if you came here.

Remember that Green Card – or the DV Lottery, is absolutely FREE. That means don't pay anyone. Simple. Secondly, please please only apply through the official portal (www.dvlottery.state.gov ). There are fake sites with similar spellings – so be ware. A good rule of thumb is to see if you can see .gov at the end of the web address... Third, all you need is your own details and a photograph. Nothing more. If anyone asked for your credit card details, or phoned you about DV Lottery, then just run a mile from them.

Oh, and on the bright side, you don't need a university degree to qualify, and those occupational lists are for people who don't have minimum educational qualification – so don't panic after paying a visit to the qualifying occupations list! Is that clear? If you are a person living in Sri Lanka but born in Bangladesh, India, or Pakistan, then, you are out of luck. You could put yourself in an application if your spouse is born in Sri Lanka. Otherwise, sorry. I write this because there is a substantial number of people living here from those countries – and asking us about DV programme. Sorry kids.

If you qualify for entry, here is what you do.

1. You must have an email address to complete the form. If you don't have one, get a free email from Yahoo or Google (or somewhere else you fancy).
2. Gather your personal details – this means your address, date of birth, photograph, etc.
3. If you are married, then get your wife's/husband's & children's details too. Including clear photographs.
4. Visit the official site (given above), read the instructions, and click begin entry.
5. Follow the instructions given on the site – it is simple, true, and you just can't go wrong.
6. Please do not duplicate applications – meaning only apply once. Once you get the Submission Received / Confirmation – stop!!! Print the page for reference and keep it safe.
7. Your spouse (wife or husband) can make their own application, with you included in it. This means if you are in a relationship, you get two chances. Don't confuse this. Your partner's application is a separate one – where they are the APPLICANT, you are just mentioned in passing.... So don't fill two applications yourself!!!

After you apply, it is a waiting game, meaning you have to wait a long time for the results. Once the results dates are officially announced, you can log into the same site and click the link to see if you have won. This will need the reference number on that confirmation page you printed - so please keep that printout in a safe place.

Oh, and good luck to all of you.

Sri Lanka Presidential Polls

Hello kidz, here we are at the end of yet another Sri Lanka election. If there is anything in this country, it's elections – this being the third within the span of one Earth year. Don't you kidz worry, people here simply love it – life here would be unbearable without elections.
To sum it up for those of you who have missed news: One Autocratic Dictator has been deposed. Like to know what predictions were? Best one I got was - never mind from who- gave figures of:
MR(Autocratic outgoing dictator) 52.03% to 49.12% (Median = 50.58%)
MS (Possible upcoming dictator) 47.43% to 56.51% (Median = 51.97%)
They actually scored 47.6% and 51.3% respectively. Kudos to whoever did the maths, because I have never come across such an accurate prediction even in a Western democracy, let alone in a place where election violence, rigging, & voter turnout are matters better left for inscrutable means of providence. Just which weird statistical tool is capable of taking vote rigging into account is something that evades me.

People about here believe strongly in karma. And karma it was, as the outgoing president had three more years left of his legitimate tenure – when bad karma forced him to listen to his astrologer and call on a snap election which he ultimately lost. Shit happens. His opponent had been one of his most trusted and loyal lieutenants. The man it is claimed, has foregone becoming Prime Minister of Sri Lanka in order to pave the way for ex-president to become PM (and then onto become autocratic dictator!). The two had a cordial dinner of pancakes (actually a type of unleavened bread called aappa) one night. Little did the poor ex-prez knew he was dining with the very man who would tomorrow afternoon launch an effective campaign to remove him. Karma is a biatch...

Karma seems to have played a major role in election result as well. Reliable sources indicate that vote rigging went pear shape when another trusted lieutenant defected - otherwise the slim margin he lost would surely be accounted ..... Together with rest of stalwarts who exhibited shifty loyalties, no last minute rescue attempt was on the cards. Dignified exit was the only valid move he was left with and needless to say that the fellow complied.

So what now? Looking at the international scenario, we need to know that both United States of America and United Kingdom have appointed new heads of diplomatic mission here - in a move completely unrelated to election or new regime.

As for United Kingdom, I don’t really see any need of fixing anything, neither is there any space left for change in either policies or practices. Well, anyone who knows anything about UK Home Office knows this as a given. I would not use the term Her Majesty’s - as I am under oath not to tarnish her name.... and then you called that shite hole HM Home Office.... All I say is that no constructive man has come to Colombo from London after the departure of David Gladstone, and he made the blunder of attempting to dine with savages in a formal dinner setting.

India and Uncle Sam must work together in building relations with the new regime. Especially without scaring off the Chinese. Geopolitical reality is not to compel China to take Maldivian option- which is more dangerous and has darker outcomes to all involved. US foreign policy should have done something long ago if they did not like a Chinese outpost in Colombo. Now its too late. Looking at economic and political stability, US can safely retain their current policy on these matters - which has been more or less encouraging US investments here. As for Indians, its better if they expand (does not mean dislodging Chinese) their business activities here, while relaxing policies curtailing free travel between the two countries. Trade deals must offer something in return to Sri Lanka - as current scenario is necessarily biased towards Indian advantage.

European Union does not cut out a pretty picture around here - something they need to fix. As we all know some pro-China systems here hasn’t helped either. In my opinion winning the hearts of masses is more necessary at this point than socioeconomic infrastructure mambo jumbo they are so fond of. Actually, the new regime is fundamentally more open towards larger word out there than the previous one. They might look pro-Western, but really they are more inclined towards Asian scene and are slightly unlikely to play into economic deals trap - either openly or cached.

Whats my opinion of all this going on? Well, when the first World President (Barak Obama) was elected, a newsprint invited people to express their wishes from his administration in less than 10 words. I was told that winning entry was : I hope he will let us down gently. In the melee of struggle for power and direction, I just hope the soup tastes OK.