Happy New Year Everyone

This would be the last one up for 2011, unless of course they find that freaking planetoid that’s going to crash on Earth to end it all. We are just past X-mas (Crimbo, if that X is too strong for you) and the New Year is on the way. There is less than a day left, and they haven’t yet found the Apocalypto planet. Are they not ready to start New Year? The answer is NO, and neither am I, for I want the most bang for buck in this time around. If doom mongers are correct about the Mayan calender, a cool, large, black object floating towards us, being found by an amateur astronomer who had no bathroom windows in the vicinity to focus his telescope would do just fine.

Listen up boys, New Year here is a big event. The number of fire-crackers being lit at midnight gives you the impression of being in the middle of Hamburg air-raid by the Bomber Command led by Sir Arthur Harris. If you are not familiar with the local scenario, it could scare the living daylights out of you. My point is that people here want to scare themselves shitless during the transition hour, and what more could give them the biggest bang for buck than a nice little dark interstellar neighbour coming around for a friendly planetary handshake? If you want a circus, you've got to have the elephants (Jubal Harshaw, in Stranger in a strange land). Well here is hoping them have the elephants.

When the New Year arrives, past memories drag us to past. Surely we cannot build our future by forgetting past. But if we take the future out of equation, bingo, its all sorted. That planet will surely help us out there. So the wankers wallowing in nostalgia can have a sigh of relief, for there will be no future for them to dread. Ah, and I can play my God Save the Queen track by Sex Pistols endlessly – it repeats “no future” about a dozen times. Will also open the eyes of those trolls who dislike my choice of music taste.....

Why am I writing these? Because my beautiful secretary took upon her the task of writing the 2011 swansong blog, and it looked like the Sermon on the Mount. In my very humble opinion, sermons are the last thing these people need. She, being a delicate girl, writes “For a moment turn to your past. Is it full of happy memories or sad ones? Can you be satisfied with things you did last year?...”. Yeah, just look at the way they chose their leaders and see if you find any evidence of retrospect, hindsight, or regret. “If you want to live happily this New Year you must call to mind the past. Sometimes when you go back you get angry with past things”. Sure, except folks here are too dumb, selfish, and remorseless; righteousness is a word without a meaning here. They do feel angry about some past deeds alright. But fair play has nothing to do with it.

I am saying this because down here, these people are corrupting the core of their very existence. They corrupt their religion, their governance, their reasoning, and their environment. Being too self centred to bother with anything that might even loosely benefit others, we are merrily down the road to perdition. Its my job as a visa consultant to guide those who want to defect into the paradise. See how morally superior I myself am!

I am not saying that folks down here are any less human than folks elsewhere. My guess is that they are in a bad patch of time and the moral & cultural fibre of their existence is coming undone. Ones it starts you need elephants to pull it back together. In their 2500 years of written history, they have pulled themselves together in worse situations. Recent war effort to safeguard their island’s territorial integrity being a good example. So what’s the big issue? Will they not be able to mend things in the nick of time again? My secretary wants to comment & advice them on this matter, and today's blog is co-authored by her.

Actually, I have not lost my faith in the nation as much as this blog purports it to be. My real concern is that only a very few among us are bothering to open their eyes to reality. There is no need to go deeply philosophical or retrospective to find the answer. We here need to accept one single fact of life. That is Civilisations fall. And ours fell about 600 years ago. We are not the race we used to be and this whole thing about a pure Sinhalese-Buddhist culture is a sham. Nothing, not even our religion in its present form, dress code, or even wedding customs are real. This is a whole pile of shite without anything authentic in it. Absolutely.

My new year wish for the nation is them being able to open their eyes to this reality and making amends to make things better, for everyone. I hope they give up one delusion this coming year, just one delusion, and make some effort to understand that we are in this together. When we come out of these dark woods of cultural delusion its a simple next step to realise that individual success is based on success as a group, and that we have proven time and time again that we still have what it takes to do that.

So this new year, sum up your courage and lets come out of the dark woods, together.

Happy new year everyone.

Merry Christmas, here are the Nirvana

Hello and a Merry Christmas everyone. Just past the midnight and in the ides of midnight mass, here I am writing for your entertainment. Well, Christmas is all about charity and goodwill, so some effort is surely not uncalled for, specially in this blessed hour.

Each Christmas, with all the joy, vivacity, seasonal goodwill and lovely cards from fine friends I have, I sit myself down with a tea (now that’s not alcohol, OK) and wonder. Have we got the message? The message of Christ that is.

Considering that, there are two distinctive messages out there. Just tune on telly or meet the guy with a black belt & a hood at church for the most common message. And you are invited to try out “The X-Rated Bible” or, if that is too hard to reach, just reach for the one at home to read following passages for the other message:

Matthew 10:35-36, Luke 14:26, Luke 12:51-53 & Matthew 10:34 (so much for the "Prince of Peace"), Luke 20:34-36 (if you plan to be together in hereafter), Matthew 26:24 (for anti abortionists), Matthew 23:14 & Matthew 12:34 (for some seasonal goodwill).

Now I am not asking you to give up on Jesus because some Bible passages are inconsistent with what ever we hold as moral values, but I am seriously asking you to open your eyes. I am telling you (here is my stint playing the vicar, enjoy), I am telling that Jesus did give us a message. And he was mostly right too! We are all a race of hypocrites. We seek & preach qualities and virtues that we ourselves do not ever wish to possess or practice, teach them to kids secretly hoping they will turn into ignorant selfish bastards like ourselves in order to succeed in life, curse and deride those who show even a modicum of those qualities that we suppose Jesus asked us to have, and most of all, we are so self righteous, despite bible asking us to be careful in this sense (Romans, Ch 14 if my memory serves).

No, we have not got the message Jesus gave us. We pretend we understand it, we pretend we practice the virtues, but in reality, his message is the last thing on earth we would try out. A den of vipers, a species resembling what Jesus described in Matthew 23:27, dead inside.

Want a proof? Here I am writing about virtues while downloading a torrent, and aXXo is a hero in my universe. This is piracy, and its stealing. Yet here I am downloading it. So much for the preaching about Jesus and the local actress prostitute clan. And there is more. Wait for it. I recently found a little kidda (relation) downloading something over the net and like that judge in US, I punished her aptly (while I returned home and switched on the BitTorrent as the first act). Is this virtue? Was she doing something I myself would not be found dead doing?

Yes, I do know there is something in torrents and computer malware writers that helps us deeply if you care to look. Freedom of information sharing and security – in simplicity. Because if we stopped torrents, where will we draw the line? How vulnerable will our systems be to exploiters if not for the malware writers who constantly keep showing us holes in our armour? But this is beyond the point. The question Jesus would have asked will be something like: Did you download Teen Girl P&*$% 3 to defend the freedom of information flow, honestly? How many of us can answer that truthfully? - that will be MY question, that is after Jesus had asked his and before you answer.

This Christmas I would want everyone to consider my question, for Jesus is not here to ask his. If you can't consider it, then hope in your heart that Jesus must never come down here to establish his kingdom, for we are quite pleased with the one we have made for ourselves.

After all, he might ask some tough questions from us. So lets ask him to f off and wish everyone around us a very merry Christmas. 

Merry Christmas Everyone. Joy be to all.  

UK & USA Student visa

Here I am again after a longish hiatus. Wanted to write some interesting things but there was no time. There are several things I want to tell you about UK and USA visa process, which might interest you if you are considering student visa applications there.

As we discussed before, US visa is rather a straight forward process. As long as you have documentation right, its a candy bar. But remember, you do need to show good funding, that is there must be good enough indication to show you actually have this money and can afford it without hassle.

The college you go should be having a good reputation in YOUR home country, so embassy staff has more positive picture of the college. More ever, the course should be something one would believe as a valid one. BA in American History might not be such a good idea - unless you had some insane special desire to study it since the time in mother’s knee.

Filling out visa application? Hell, just don’t be too clever there. Answer as truthfully as humanely possible, give clear indications, put out a covering letter making matters clear to others (aka The Visa Officer), give genuine documentary support, and hope for the best.

Do not go nit picking over filling out a visa application. This is USA, not UK which is an other story. Its online, don’t go nit picking (again), and have originals of documents ready. Your presentation of yourself is more important than minor silly slips on the application form. Mark that.

Now let’s turn towards the UK student visa system. It too is a simple and fair system, established by, who else, the Brits. But unfortunately one can’t say the same about the bunch of major a-holes put into implementing it. A simple oversight might have your visa refused and you might be charged with false representation and what not. They live in world of paranoia and take it on from you. But my major worry is being cheated by the false education service providers, also known as College of Non-existence and what not. The truth is, if you are serious of studies, don’t ever touch these effing colleges even with the thin end of a bargepole. All these colleges with affiliation to local establishments are good for nothing, lousy, business front ends. You would not learn anything in them, except perhaps how to become a con artist. So do give a second thought about where you study.   

My advice with UK student visa system is honesty does not pay. Its as simple as that. Cut corners where you could, for you are not likely to get a positive & fair response from them. Now I am not asking you to cheat over there, but I do not feel people are treated fairly and though I myself won’t be doing it for you, its the way it turns out. So be aware what’s in store for you at the UK visa section before you sink a fortune in it.

Paradise Lost

Boys & girls of Manchester, I present you Miss(?) Sasha Grey – well, none of the prudes down here asked to know too much about her. Strange sort of behaviour for a country infested with…… No, just read some local newspapers and you could add your own definition. Born out of wedlock (one word, pl) would handily describe the entire populace of this god forsaken, bigoted, prudish, good for nothing land. But then again its common knowledge, there is no point in rubbing it on.

Maybe they are too religious and modest, so the prudes wouldn’t dare asking openly? Oh really? Modesty in small doses – if you had the sense of a POS to watch some “Superstar” programme on TV here… Uncultured animals taint everything they come into contact with. Be it singing, dancing, or even extramundane affairs like religion. Its all pretence.

Enough of these small talk, here is her web address: http://sashagrey.com/  Fortunately that is one girl who has not found Jesus. My hat off to you Miss(!) Grey, for being so modest, in a world full of hypocrites pretending to be religious, a land full of cheap prostitutes pretending to be actresses, ad infinitum. You alone are the honest, the modest, and truthful. Sad isn’t it.

Kids, I know you want more: http://peoples-history.com/art/cinema/actor/sasha_grey/9.shtml, and see what you are missing at home.

Republica is singing “Drop-dead gorgeous” on the speakers, some visas gained against stiff resistance of the very fine gentlemen at UK High Commission, a not so legit copy of Melancholia in the USB pen, and you want to see why I am raving mad about you know who on blog. Aye, I ain’t takin them any more seriously than you do. Its just that no one asked, I mean nobody asked to know about Sasha Grey. Now that would be an original sin. Cry not poor Sasha, salvation is within thy reach. But make sure you commit some sins, for people who are denizens of this land believe they have committed some meritorious deed to have born here. And I don’t think its such a clever idea to come down here.

So next week we will talk something about getting US visas. Perhaps there is something you can learn from it.